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07-07-06 - 7:55 a.m.

A Lesson in Patience

"pleasure moves on too early and trouble leaves too slow"
Down To You, Joni Mitchell

On a deep level I'm good with what's going on in my life today. I know that everything I need is coming toward me, my Higher Power will provide whatever brings me to my highest good, and all intentions are true.

However, my ego is just screaming right now. I want what I want when I want it.

And right now, there are two, not one, but two men in my life and neither of them are giving me what I want.

I know that I'm getting what I need.

And it's a tough lesson for me.

For there's a spoiled little princess inside. She's 3 years old and her daddy adores her. She gets all the attention she wants and he thinks she's perfect. She's precocious and everyone loves watching her perform. She enjoys being on stage.

And she's been a controlling force in my life that has led me to many self-destructive behaviors. Many bad choices, unhealthy decisions, sick relationships.

So, today, that one is fighting to get out and strut her stuff. She craves the jolt she gets from being attractive to men. She wants to tease and taunt. She wants to be put up on that pedestal, never to fall.

And it just ain't happenin'!!

Which is a good thing.

A
very
good
thing

That's what I know today.

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